On Being an ‘amateur’ yogi…
One of the main struggles I used to face in teaching yoga is that my personal practice is still in progress, and there are still many asanas that I have not been able to achieve myself. Each of us is forever a student; there is no limit or ceiling on how much we can learn in our lifetimes. This keeps life interesting and allows us to continuously grow, shift, and add spice to our lives.
As a yoga teacher, though, I used to get super in my head about this and thought that I was inadequate to teach certain classes because I couldn’t do a handstand or complete the entire Ashtanga primary series yet. Tori one year ago would have fallen to the ground if she knew I was sharing this information on the internet. Now, I embrace this and find it to be one of my strengths as a teacher and human. I am still learning and growing, just as we all are. I know my limits and know which classes I feel confident teaching and guiding people through. I will continue to work toward my asana goals and attend challenging classes, but it is not the end-all, be-all of being a teacher or a yogi.
As a teacher, before the physical postures, my goal is to give space for the inner workings of the body and mind to flow, and then the physical flow can tie it all together. Of course, it would be super cool if I could do the splits or pincha mayurasana, and maybe one day I’ll get there, but for now, I am working on letting go of my ego that wants to skip right to that and am willing to put in the work to get there!
Yoga is so much more than the physical postures, and this is something that is not discussed enough. Of course, there are so many benefits to the physical practice for all aspects of life, all mental, emotional, and physical, but there are also so many other elements at play in practicing yoga. Breath, for one, is crucial. On the mat, on the street, at your family’s house, at work, and in relationships, it is the anchor to ourselves when times are good, sad, scary, triggering, or just emotional in general.
Mindfulness, both during the physical practice and in all walks of life, being aware of where you are in space (proprioception), aware of what your breath is doing, and aware of what your mind and thoughts are doing, is absolutely essential in being present, which is what yoga is. The more I practice and teach, the more I realize how much philosophy, history, breathwork, and inner awareness make up the heart of yoga. I’ve learned a lot already and will always keep studying, but there’s still so much I’m eager to dive into. That curiosity feels like one of the most real and grounding parts of being a yogi.
One day at a time, both in yoga and all aspects of life.